"Aku sampai di bagian bahwa aku telah jatuh cinta.
Namun orang itu hanya mampu kugapai sebatas punggung saja.
Seseorang yang cuma sanggup kuhayati bayangannya dan tak akan pernah kumiliki keutuhannya.
Seseorang yang hadir sekelebat bagai bintang jatuh yang lenyap keluar dari bingkai mata sebelum tangan ini sanggup mengejar.
Seseorang yang bisa kukirimi isyarat sehalus udara, langit, awan, atau hujan.
Seseorang yang selamanya harus dibiarkan berupa sebentuk punggung karena kalau sampai ia bebalik niscaya hatiku hangus oleh cinta dan siksa."

              Hanya Isyarat by Dee Lestari

How could you do it? I never saw its coming. I need an ending.
So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

The sum of strangers

I should be over the butterflies since the first time our eyes met.
I should have been warned myself to step forward, not to judge you that rude but i just wanted to prevent myself from hurting all the time. We were just complete strangers back then and i barely know you in years, but it doesn't turns out exactly like what i've ever imagined before.
Because right on the first sight, i undoubtedly fall in love with you.

"Baby, if I'm half a man i say i am,
If I'm a woman with no fear just like i claim i am.
Then i believe in what you say, there's nothing left for you to do.
The only proof that i need is.. You."

In the name of pain

Don't overthink. And expect. Because them will kill you, fast enough.
Everything just gets worst when you started to expect thing to happen, feeling to grow, and love to bloom. I know its hard to prevent you from the wants to think that way, but it also hard to prevent you from falling, aching, broken-hearted.

Well, cause if you do:
Pain demands to be felt - Gus Waters. (TFiOS, 2012)

Dua pasang mata hati

Mataku terus mencari, seakan menelanjangi semua yang hadir. Kadang muncul, kadang raib. Aku tau kalian disini. Saling mencuri pandang.. terpisah diantara kerumunan. Walau begitu, perasaan kalian tak terelakkan, tak kekang oleh ratusan onggok raga fana. Aku tau..

..and this song brought all the memories back.

Did you believe in songs? I mean, song, the melody of untold feelings. And I believe every people have their own song; it's just like soul, what make us alive. Told what our heart couldn't directly say..

And this is one of mine.

I try not to think about the pain I feel inside,
Do you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me, now seems so far away,
And it feels like you don't care anymore.

And now I try hard to make it,
I just wanna make you proud.
I'm never gonna be good for you.
I can't pretend that I'm alright..
And nothing's alright.

'Cause we've lost it all,
Nothing lasts forever,
Sorry I can't be perfect.
Now it just to late,
And we can't go back,
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

Nothing’s gonna change the things that you said..
Nothing’s gonna make this right again.
Please don’t turn your back,
I can’t believe it’s hard just to talk to you,
But you don’t understand..

This. Just.
...too deep.

I can't help but tears streaming down my face. The scars barely open, all the memories start to roll over right in front of my eyes. But somehow, I smiled. Just to let you know, I'm okay. Right here, right now.
Its not about you, not me, not us. Its just about the memories, what we've done and through. I won't blame the time, gone pity myself and regret the past. I, finally, can let this go. This is the way it should be. 
And on everything, for taking part in my life... I thank thee.


Btw, do you spot the difference in the second paragraph? I change it because for me, it suits me that way. :)

Kau

Sudah sekian lama ia tidak merasa kikuk seperti ini. Iya, kikuk.. Semacam saat melihat kau barang sepintas menyebabkan badannya terasa sedingin air terjun, dengan semburat merah muda yang dengan segera menyambar rupanya yang bulat telur. Tanpa sedikitpun tersamarkan.

Walau begitu, ia selalu suka saat kau menyebut namanya. Saking terkagum-kagumnya, kerap ia terlambat menjawab pertanyaan (lebih tepatnya pernyataan) karena linglung harus menjawab bagaimana dan ketika tersadar kau telah raib dari pandangan.

Kau memiliki satu kebiasaan, bertanya tanpa ingin tau jawabnya dan menjawab tanpa ingin didengar. Terlalu dingin. Sambil lalu, seakan kata-kata yang terucap tak berarti padahal di sisi lain ia tahu, yang ia junjung hanyalah kesederhanaan sebuah kata..

Yang bagimu tanpa arti, namun bermakna.